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Your Ultimate Guide to Venus Retrograde

venus retrograde guide

Look around you. What do you see? How do you feel when you take in the contents of the room? When you think of the person sleeping next to you in bed? How does it feel to be alone with yourself?

Now think of what you do with your day. Maybe it’s work, maybe you’re looking forward to creating something beautiful. Or perhaps it’s been years since you created something that’s truly yours.

How does that make you feel?

Think about love. Sensuality. Your body and its response to the thought of touch, beautiful music, the smell of roses, the taste of wine.

Does that make you uncomfortable? Excited? When’s the last time you felt radiant and sensual in your body? When's the last time you could receive without giving anything back?

Starting May 13th until June 25th 2020, Venus is stationing retrograde and you’re about to find out how you (truly) feel about love, sensuality, creativity, and how you live your day-to-day.

What is Venus Retrograde?

We all know a thing or two about Mercury retrograde, but did you know that every planet in our wee solar system stations retrograde at some point?

Retrogrades, in general, happen when the alignment of the earth, the sun, and the planet in question are aligned in a way that makes said planet appear to be moving backward.

Venus is decidedly not moving backward, but this particular alignment can still have an effect on our lives.

Venus retrograde has earned itself quite the reputation over the years (with Mercury taking first place as the most well-known) because of the impact it can have on your romantic relationships. 

But Venus rules way more than just your love life. It covers all things love, relationships, beauty, creativity, harmony, and even your personal finances and your surroundings.

And since all retrogrades ask us to slow down and pay attention to specific aspects of our lives, you may begin to feel some contraction, frustration, or emotions begin to pop up regarding the above themes. 

Think of Venus retrograde shining a light on all things love to make sure we're still in alignment with our soul's needs.

Sure, this time can bring up some old challenges you thought you worked through, or maybe some texts from an ex. But really, this 6-week period an opportunity to examine how you feel about your love life ... even if that's just how you're loving on yourself.

The good news is, we only experience Venus retrograde every 18 months or so. The last one was in October 2018. But the bad news is, these last for a while. About a month and a half.

Venus Retrograde 2020: A Focus on The Mind

Get ready for all the chats, the banter (Love Island, anyone?), and deep conversations. Since Venus is in the sign of Gemini throughout its retrograde journey, this is an AMAZING time to get intimate… with your thoughts and words. 

Gemini is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication, perception, and the intellect. That means it doesn’t just govern how we think, but how we take in, process, and communicate information.

Gemini is known for intelligent, dynamic, witty conversations, but can also trigger petty arguments. So, Venus in Gemini will likely offer up some amazing opportunities to have some fun… but also strengthen your communication skills. 

You may notice that your old ways of communicating aren’t working. Since this seems to be the year of the GREAT PIVOT, maybe it’s time to try some other ways of being heard.

This also gives us an incredible opportunity to start communicating with our loved ones in entirely new ways. How exciting! Here’s some Venus in Gemini tips and tools...

  1. Listen like your love depends on it. 
  2. Ask questions before you start talking about yourself.
  3. Think before you speak.
  4. Play this question game with a Zoom date or your partner.
  5. Start a serious journaling practice (communication with yourself!)
  6. Grab this Self-Compassion journal and get to work.
  7. Or try some exercises in my favorite book on shadow work.
  8. Think of some new, creative ways to get your emotions and thoughts across… multi-media art projects! Singing! Tap dancing!

When in Doubt, Go Inward

This advice goes for any planetary retrograde. Everything coming up for you right now is meant to teach you something.

If you begin to notice repeating patterns or themes and you blow past them to your next big project or start blaming all your problems on other people, you’ve just missed the train to your big retrograde opportunity!

With a light shining on communication and all things love, it’s possible for tensions to run high. Or to feel misheard. 

Before you take your laundry list of grievances to your partner, your date, or a friend or family member, sit down and do a bit of inner work. Examine your desires, repair old wounds, and restore your energy with some deep self-care. 

THEN you can talk it through or redraw your boundaries.

If things seem rocky with your partner in the coming weeks, this is a great opportunity to tune in and re-examine what you want and expect from each other. This can be uncomfortable, but powerful.

Shameless plug, the Love Box Ritual Kit is amazing for this. It forces you to get real about what you want from your partner and what you're willing to give.

I do this ritual at least once a year, even when I’m in a relationship to make sure that everything is still in alignment.

Schedule some date nights in, light some candles, and make some compassionate space for real, non-reactive conversation (if possible). I highly recommend keeping alcohol out of the picture. Booze can heighten emotions and make you react in ways that you wouldn't when you're sober.

Listen with an open heart and take breaks if you need to. It's insanely hard not to take the pains and complaints of your partner personally. But truly listening without judgment is some seriously powerful medicine.

This is also a great time to step out of any illusions of what you THINK you want from a relationship. 

Do you love the idea of hiking and being with a super outdoorsy partner? But when it comes to packing the car with camping gear, you'd much rather be planning a night out at a fancy restaurant? Let go of the fantasy and get real with yourself during this time. 

Love in the Time of Covid-19

If You’re In a Relationship

Let’s be honest. If you’re currently in a relationship, it’s very likely that you’ve been couped up (trapped?) with your partner since mid-March. That’s a lot of time to spend with a person.

Even if Venus weren’t in retrograde, this would be prime time for tensions to begin to build. And VenusRx might intensify the situation.

But are you fundamentally incompatible or are you just craving a weekend alone revisiting the Harry Potter series and eating chocolate chip cookies in bed? ALONE.

This could be the perfect opportunity to practice compassionate communication techniques or learn your partner’s love language even more deeply. It could be a time to finally (lovingly) start to ask for what you want.

That tantra practice you’ve always wanted to try? DO IT. At-home date night ideas? Jot them down!

Retrogrades have a tendency to shake things up, but that doesn’t have to mean the downfall of your relationship.

However, if you’re in a toxic relationship or a partnership that’s TRULY ready to end, don’t be surprised if this is the final nail in the coffin.

If you’re not in danger and feel safe in your situation, I do recommend waiting until the retrograde is over to make any life-changing decisions. But I promise anything that’s meant to come to light WILL come to light during this time.

If you do not feel safe in your home, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline immediately. And never stay in unsafe conditions because of a retrograde...

If You’re Single

There’s no better time than the present to start giving yourself all the love you crave from another! And Venus in Gemini, although known for its ability to spark fun, flirty banter, is pretty fickle in love.

I personally wouldn’t make any huge bets on finding lasting love during this Venus retrograde if you’re single. But what the heck do I know? And that certainly doesn’t mean you can’t have fun and forage some really deep, fun connections.

See, Venus in Gemini isn’t really about intensity and heavy emotional commitments. It’s about having a meaningful intellectual connection that can then blossom into something more. Take your time. Don’t get too dramatic or serious, and do what feels good to you.

It’s also an opportunity to widen your range of hobbies and interests… remember, Venus isn’t just about love and romance, but how you spend your money and your time. Venus in Gemini loves a new hobby, so pick up that ukulele, sister!

Money, Creativity, and Your Surroundings

Venus is also the planet of pleasure and rules your ability to experience beauty. And when it comes to how you experience pleasure and luxury, money and material things are bound to get involved.

You might feel your relationship to your work, creativity, and money changing during this time. Again, this is the time for introspection and reassessment. Make some time to re-evaluate what’s truly important to you. 

This could look like quitting your job and pursuing your Tarot card reading side hustle full-time. Or doing a Marie Kondo-style refresh and giving most of your possessions away to charity.

Given everything going on in the world, you could find that material things don’t mean as much to you and start giving more to those in need. Pay attention to what brings you peace, harmony, and pleasure during this time. It may surprise you. You can also experiment with new ways to appreciate (or create) art and beauty.

Venus rules love and high emotions, but like all things feminine, it’s a multifaceted planet with a lot more going on than romantic drama.

Venus And The Feminine

Speaking of feminine energy and archetypes, Venus also rules feminine power. That could mean a lot of things, but for me, it brings up the idea of our personal and collective relationships with feminine energy.

Traditionally, the feminine represents receptivity, being (as opposed to doing), nurturing, healing, and creation.

Those are some interesting themes to meditate and journal on. How often do you feel in touch with your feminine power? What are some ways you’ve been conditioned to rely solely on the masculine energy of doing and control?

Where do you see feminine power represented in the world? Nature is a fantastic example of feminine energy -- constant, strong, always creating, while silently trusting in the process.

Where could you tap into your feminine power more? How can we better nurture and heal our fellow humans and the world?

Don’t be surprised if these kinds of thoughts come to mind during Venus retrograde… and maybe even cause some internal conflict. In a world where we are not all treated as equals, your inner caretaker might be chomping at the bit to DO something about it. 

No more “thoughts and prayers,” it’s time to create some real change. Honor that. 

Remember: Everything that comes up during a retrograde is an opportunity for reflection and growth. After all, that seems to be what we’re here for. Embrace the evolution, my loves! And be gentle with yourself.